"Very few in the bureaucracy actually work the weekend, so it's like the opposing team just leaves the field for two days!"
-- Elon Musk, on the federal workforce

"You go on a driving range in golf and hit hundreds of balls, thousands of hours. I've never seen a ball hit another ball... Balls going up all over the place, you never see them hit. It was amazing this could happen."
-- Trump, on DC plane-chopper crash

"The United States stands ready to lead and Make Gaza Beautiful Again."
-- Secretary of State Marco Rubio

"Gaza today is uninhabitable for at least the next 10 to 15 years."
-- Trump Mideast envoy Steve Witkoff

"The US will take over Gaza, and we will do a job with it...We'll own it...Everyone loves the idea."
-- Trump

"We spent the weekend feeding USAID into the wood chipper. Could have gone to some great parties. Did that instead."
-- Elon Musk, posting at 1:54 a.m. Monday

"We have to have pristine, perfect, beautiful law enforcement. And Kash is the one to do it...Who would have thought that the FBI could have been corrupted the way they were?... The FBI was a very corrupt institution. And I was a victim of it."
-- Trump

"We're getting rid of all the cancer -- I call it cancer -- that was caused by the Biden administration."
-- Trump

"Regulations, basically, should be default gone. Not default there, default gone...We've got to restore freedom.. If it's not possible now, it'll never be possible."
-- Elon Musk

"A viper's nest of radical left Marxists who hate America...It's gotta go...A criminal organization. Time for it to die...We're shutting it down."
-- DOGE head Elon Musk on U.S. Agency for International Development

"All FBI employees will be protected against political retribution."
-- Kash Patel, at confirmation hearing on Thursday

"On Friday...the acting attorney general, Emil Bove... instructed the acting leadership of the F.B.I. to compile a list of all agents and F.B.I. staff 'assigned at any time to investigations and/or prosecutions' relating to the events at the U.S. Capitol on Jan. 6, 2021.'"
-- NY Times

"Because I have common sense."
-- Trump, asked how he could blame diversity hiring for the plane-chopper collision before there had been time to investigate

"We identified and stopped $50M being sent to Gaza to buy condoms for Hamas. Fifty million. They used them as a method of making bombs. How about that?"
-- Trump, apparently mistaking the Gaza Strip for the province of Gaza in Mozambique, where condoms are part of a program to prevent STDs

"This administration believes that birthright citizenship is unconstitutional."
-- WH spokesperson Karoline Leavitt

"All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside."
-- 14th Amendment

"I have known Bobby my whole life... It's no surprise that he keeps birds of prey as pets because he himself is a predator...Siblings and cousins who Bobby encouraged down the path of substance abuse suffered addiction, illness, and death while Bobby has gone on to misrepresent, lie, and cheat his way through life."
-- Caroline Kennedy on her cousin RFK Jr., Trump's nominee to head DHHS