"The Number One Attraction anywhere in the World, the man who gets much larger audiences than Elvis in his prime, and he does so without a guitar, the man who loves our Country more than anyone else, and the man who some say is the Greatest President in History (THE GOAT!), DONALD J. TRUMP.
-- Trump, announcing himself

"The Trump Hating Judge wants to keep it open because his wife probably told him to do so!"
-- Trump, on ruling that he can't close the Kennedy Center

"Just sit back and relax, it will all work out in the end. It always does!"
-- Trump advice to nation on Iran War, in 1:00 a.m. post

"We wiped out the nuclear capability of Iran. It was obliterated like nobody's ever seen before... I would say it's set back permanently...That place is under rock. They're never going to have nuclear."
-- Trump, 2025

"We obliterated them but that doesn't mean that with the right equipment you can't dig down and go get it."
-- Trump, 2026

"President Trump is winning. Look at the results so far. PBS defunded. NPR defunded. Joy Reid gone from MSNBC. Sleepy-eyed Chuck Todd gone. Jim Acosta gone. John Dickerson gone. Colbert is leaving. CBS is under new ownership, and soon enough, CNN is going to have new ownership as well."
-- FCC head Brendan Carr, at CPAC

Trump, on being inspired by watching Rep. Hakeem Jeffries:

"I said, 'He's a dumb guy. Wait a minute -- he's a Dumocrat.' That's how I got the name. You take the 'E' out, you don't use the 'B' -- a lot of people don't know 'dumb' has a 'B' actually -- but you don't need it. You discard the 'B.' But you take the 'E' out, and you place it with a 'U.' They are Dumocrats. You know why? Because they're dumb."

"A nuclear weapon like nobody's ever seen before."
-- Trump, on what Iran was building, necessitating our attack

"You know, the 'Michael' movie just came out, and you see all these videos now popping up of Trump defending Michael Jackson and the type of person that he was, and that Michael Jackson was around his children and his family a lot."
-- Trump pal and UFC head Dana White, on why Trump is obviously not a racist

"We salute you, like nobody has ever been saluted before."
-- Trump, honoring the dead at Arlington on Memorial Day

"Mike Pompeo has no idea what the f*** he's talking about. He should shut his stupid mouth and leave the real work to the professionals."
-- White House communications director Steven Cheung, on the former Trump CIA Dir. and Sec. of State

"Don't let cowardly CBS executives confuse the issue. I learned from a lawyer close to the deal that Trump had decreed that Skydance Media's purchase of Paramount would not be approved unless Colbert was fired. Period."
-- journalist Jonathan Alter