"Please raise your right hand: 'I pledge, to the greatest president in the history of the United States, that loves us so much he can't even breathe, that I will go out with my family, my friends -- I'll do it anyway, I don't care about registered or not, I'm going to try and cheat like hell like they do, there's never been bigger cheaters, they don't care -- I am going to go out and get my friends and family and we are going to vote on November third or we are going to vote before that!'"
-- Trump, leading midterm convention in pledge

"It's going to be a communist country if they win...They're crazy...We're not going to let the communism happen."
-- Trump on Democrats, at midterm convention

"Inspired by the bravery and patriotism of Apple and Google, we are changing the name of South Park to South America."
-- Trey Parker and Matt Stone

"Many people suggested changing the name of New Mexico, one of the greatest vote-cheating states of all time, to NEW AMERICA. So much more prestigious and beautiful for the people of that potentially incredible state. Wow, I Love It!!!"
-- Trump

"Ranchers and farmers have always been a number one priority for me... They're a very clean people. They're immaculately clean."
-- Trump

"We're not Europe. I don't think we should necessarily buy into the European model."
-- Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy on bike-friendly cities, a month after telling NPR that liberals believe "that everyone should ride a bike to their shoebox-sized apartment to eat crickets and achieve a phony climate agenda."

"I wouldn't call it a war. Right now there is no active shooting."
-- VP JD Vance, asked if the war will end before the midterms

"I don't think it matters what you call it. What matters is the fact that we've had tremendous success."
-- Trump

"Now that we have it under U.S.A. control, should we change the name Hormuz Strait to TRUMP STRAIT??? Like America itself, it would be 'hotter' than ever before!"
--Trump

"I think anybody running for president or vice president should be forced to take a coganitive [sic] examination. Right? I mean, you get a guy who gets in there -- he's got a good line of crap and he gets in -- and all of a sudden you're stuck with a man who's a moron. This is not good."
-- Trump

"Before I even arrive at the Oval Office, after I win the presidency, I will have the horrible war between Russia and Ukraine settled... I will end that war in one day. It will take 24 hours."
-- Trump, 2023