"Why the f*** are you talking to the president about me? F*** you. I'm gonna punch you in your f***ing face."
-- Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent to FHFA Director Bill Pulte at a recent dinner party

"It's a goat rodeo over there."
-- Sen. John Kennedy on RFK's HHS

"I love the smell of deportations in the morning. Chicago is about to find out why it's called the Department of WAR."
-- Trump post, with Apocalypse Now-style artwork

"The President of the United States is threatening to go to war with an American city. This is not a joke. This is not normal...Illinois won't be intimidated by a wannabe dictator."
-- Illinois Gov. J.B. Pritzker

"If you think that Joe Biden was a better leader or a better man than Vladimir Putin, I don't even know what to say to you. That's insane...Why is he more evil than Joe Biden? I can't even conceptualize that."
-- Tucker Carlson

"As previously mentioned, we are giving serious thought to taking away Rosie O'Donnell's Citizenship. She is not a Great American and is, in my opinion, incapable of being so!"
-- Trump

"I'm the distraction -- EPSTEIN SURVIVORS are the reckoning and your gold lamé throne is melting."
-- O'Donnell

"I want to try and get to heaven, if possible. I'm hearing I'm not doing well. I am really at the bottom of the totem pole."
-- Trump, on why he wants to help end the war in Ukraine

"I think the president was serious. I think he wants to get to heaven, as I hope we all do in this room as well."
-- WH Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt, asked if Trump was serious

"One of the problems we have with AI, it's both good and bad. If something happens, really bad, just blame AI. But also they create things. You know, it works both ways. If something happens, it's really bad, maybe I'll have to just blame AI."
-- Trump

"This poor, stupid Chuck Schumer -- the guy looks like he's aged 100 years."
-- Trump

"The slob of a governor you have in Illinois."
-- Trump on J.B. Pritzker

"I do know that LA wouldn't be standing today if President Trump hadn't taken action. The city would have burned down if left to the devices of the mayor and the governor."
-- Kriti Noem on calling in the National Guard

"Hahahahahahahahahahahaha."
-- Gov. Gavin Newsom

"They are led by insane people."
-- Trump on Democrats

"I know more about grass than any human being I think anywhere in the world."
-- Trump