Agenda Project Action Fund online ad on GOP-Ebola: "If you die, blame them."....NRCC's Andrea Bozek on APAF: "If they were real ads, they'd put them on TV."....Joe Biden on GOP: "They have no judgment."....Tea Party Patriots co-founder Jenny Beth Martin on Biden: "Could benefit from some remedial education on his own judgment...Has sadly managed to parlay his vice presidency into a late-night TV punchline."....Russell Brand on democracy: "Why vote? We know it's not going to make any difference."....Johnny Rotten on Brand and his advice: "A bumhole...The most idiotic thing I've ever heard."....Laura Ingraham on CDC Director Thomas Frieden: "Becoming the 'Baghdad Bob' of the health care community."....Bill O'Reilly on Frieden's opposition to flight bans: "A dumb and dangerous ruse, and [he] is the chief propagandist."....Ursula K. Le Guin on Amazon: "Is using censorship to gain total market control so they can dictate to publishers what they can publish, to authors what they can write, to readers what they can buy."....Agent Andrew Wylie: "If Amazon is not stopped, we are facing the end of literary culture in America."....Sen. Mitch McConnell on Obamacare: "The worse piece of legislation in the last half-century."....

Leon Panetta joke excised from Gridiron speech due to Cheney's ill health at the time: "Looking back on my career, I've been a Republican, a congressman, and White House chief of staff, and a defense secretary. Come to think of it, I've done everything that Dick Cheney has done. Except the guy I made sure got shot in the face was Osama bin Laden."....Rep. Steven F. Lynch to Secret Service Director Julia Pierson, testifying before House panel: "I wish to God you protected the White House like you're protecting your reputation here today."....Fox News Channel co-host Greg Gutfeld on Obama: "Bashes FNC more than ISIS, and we don't behead anybody."....Quincy Jones: "Today, being a pop star is about two things: personality and scandal. Every time someone puts out an album now, you get a DUI or shoot somebody. It's a problem."....Steve Steward on U2's free Apple album: "It's like Guy Fieri showing up at a restaurant and quietly setting a chili dog onto everyone's plate, because who doesn't love chili dogs?"....

Former French president Nicolas Sarkozy on same-sex marriage: "Humiliating families and humiliating people who love the family."....Karl Rove on AG Eric Holder: "A partisan hack...Good riddance."....Charles Krauthammer on Obama: "Clearly a narcissist."....Energy corp. exec Robert Murray: "The insane, regal administration of King Obama."....ESPN'S Keith Olbermann on NFL commish Roger Goodell: "An enabler of men who beat women."....ESPN's Bill Simmons: "How the hell does Roger Goodell still have a job?"....Julian Assange: "Every time you go to a party and take a picture and post that picture on Facebook, you're being a rat. You're being a narc."....John Cusack on Hollywood: "It's a whorehouse and people go mad."....John Oliver on Donald Trump: "A clown made of mummified foreskin and cotton candy."....

Former National Security Adviser Sandy Berger on Obama ISIS speech: "Welcomed the responsibilities of American leadership. We've not heard that from him before."....Sarah Palin: "He is so inconsistent in leading a failed agenda that it's virtually impossible to put any hope in his new promises."....Rush Limbaugh: "Embarrassing...Incompetence on parade."....Philip Gourvitch: "A swirl of contradiction and swagger."....Glen Beck on Obama: "He has erased eight years of what that office means."....Sen. Rand Paul on Syria: "A jihadist wonderland."....Martha Stewart on Gwyneth Paltrow: "If she were confident in her acting, she wouldn't be trying to be Martha Stewart."....

former House Majority leader Tom DeLay on Obama: "Hates war, hates the military...Incompetent...I can't say for sure whether he's a Christian or not, but he has shown over the last few years that he has great sympathies with Islam."....Sen. Rand Paul on Obama administration: "Flailing about wildly."....former Justice Dept. official John Yoo on Paul: "The last thing the Republican Party needs is its own version of George McGovern."....Rush Limbaugh on Obama: "A tyrant."....DNC Chairwoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz on WI Gov. Scott Walker: "Has given women the back of his hand."....GOP Sen. Deb Fischer on Schultz comment: "Women deserve better than this garbage."....'Duck Dynasty' patriarch Phil Robertson on gays: "Full or murder, envy, strife, hatred. They are insolent, arrogant, God-haters. They are heartless, they are faithless, they are senseless, they are ruthless."....