"I knew right away that if elected to Congress, I'd take on the special interests that have run Washington for far too long. I'll never forget when a fat cat lobbyist said to me, 'Just give it a little time, we'll break you.'"
-- Rep. Katie Porter

"We've abandoned common sense and instead adhere to the edicts of an expert class that is neither expert nor classy...It's time to retire or just ignore the control freaks. It's time to declare victory and move on."
-- Fox News' Laura Ingraham on the CDC

"To abolish mask-wearing laws in some states while the rest of the nation keeps theirs is like designating a peeing section of the swimming pool."
-- Neil deGrasse Tyson

"January 6th clearly and unambiguously exposed a domestic extremist threat that I didn't realize the size, scale, and scope of."
-- Gen. Mark Milley, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff

"Sh** was wild...I pissed in Nancy P's toilet."
-- off-duty VA police officer Jacob Fracker bragging about his role in storming the Capitol

"Not the type of word that a president should be using."
-- Texas Gov. Greg Abbott, on Biden calling his COVID strategy a "Neanderthal-type approach"

"Pure scum!... Basket case!... Goofball atheist!... Low-class slob!... Bottom of the barrell!... Nasty with lies!... Wacko!..."
-- the previous president, on various public figures

"I just announced Texas is OPEN 100%. EVERYTHING."
-- Gov. Greg Abbott, after consulting with only one of his four COVID-19 medical advisers

Fruit Loops.
-- topping for new breakfast pizza, served with sour cream and cream cheese sauce, offered by Fong's Pizza in Des Moines, IA

"Trying to turn this country into a communist ash heap."
-- Rep. Madison Cawthorn, on Democrats

"Ted Cruz is so tone deaf, one wonders if the gravitational shift of millions of eyes rolling at once feeds his life force."
-- Erin Gloria Ryan